Happy Monday, y’all!
Last week, we talked about the parts of our brains involved in creating breakthroughs for ourselves as well as a proven formula for change.
That formula is: Dissatisfaction x Vision x First Concrete Steps > Resistance
Let’s take a look at the pitfalls we may experience as we work this formula and find out how to apply it to our own unique circumstances!
1. Dissatisfaction
This is the part we’re usually great at, and that’s not a bad thing!
Becoming acquainted with what’s not going well is the first step in the formula for change.
Sometimes we’re not even aware of the things we’re dissatisfied with and when that’s the case, the likelihood of us taking steps to improve our present state dwindles to nothing except pure chance.
Lucky for us, there’s a system for that, too!
I call it the EEE VS DDD system.
It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it sure does help!
EEE stands for Energizing, Enjoyable, and Easy.
Whereas DDD stands for Dull, Difficult, and Draining.
This week, I challenge you to look at your life through these lenses.
Pay special attention to the Big Five areas in life – relationships, career, health, money, and spirituality.
Ideally, these areas of our lives are energizing, enjoyable, and easy at least 80% of the time.
When you notice something that feels dull, difficult, and/or draining, see if there’s anything you can do to make it easier, more energizing, or more enjoyable.
If it’s completely out of your hands and you’ve tried what’s in your control to get it to embody those Es, it’s time to look for a way to exit that situation.
2. Vision
This is another easy place to fall off track with the change formula – figuring out what we would like INSTEAD of what we’re dissatisfied with.
We skip this, thinking anything different will be better than what we’re currently working with.
It’s not enough, though.
Getting a clear vision of what you want to be experiencing is crucial.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be realistic at first.
Just let that beautiful Human Brain of yours dream of how you’d love for your life to look.
Pay particularly close attention to how you’d LIKE to feel instead of how you’re feeling right now.
This is important because so often, the package happiness comes in is different than the one we imagine.
When we envision a new reality for ourselves than the one we’re currently experiencing, our brains automatically start to create a path toward it, whether we realize it or not!
A couple of years ago, I had a client who had moved far away from her parents as her husband had gotten a job in a new city.
They had two children with special needs and my client was completely overwhelmed without support.
Her husband, an amazing, loving man, worked very long hours at his job and that left my client alone most of the time.
When I asked her what she wanted her reality to look like, she hesitantly said she wanted to move close to her parents who are very supportive and always willing to lend a hand with her kiddos.
BUT, she told me, even the thought of that was selfish.
She said she should be able to handle everything by herself, even though it was clearly too much for one person (sound like anyone you know?!)
So, I took her through a detailed visualization exercise where she imagined herself in a new house with her parents nearby and her husband having found another position that was just as good as his current one.
I was shocked when THREE WEEKS later, she called me and said she and her husband had visited the city where her parents lived to start looking for homes.
They’re in a house together now just a few minutes away from her parents.
Her husband quickly found a new job, which she said is almost unheard of in his field.
It was something of a miracle, and all because she dared to let herself dream beyond the constructs of what she thought was possible!
3. First Concrete Steps
Taking small steps toward your goals instead of bum-rushing them on New Year’s Day is paramount to your success.
We have a tendency as humans to jump ahead with reckless abandon.
That triggers the Critter Brain to basically say, “SHUT IT DOWN!!!!!!”
The key to making the change formula work for you is to take small enough steps that the Critter Brain continues to feel safe.
So, once you’ve realized what you’re dissatisfied with and you’ve gotten a vision for what you’d like instead, think of the easiest step you could take toward it.
When you’re deciding which step to take, let it be almost TOO easy.
The important thing is to start SOMEWHERE. That builds momentum for the tougher stuff.
Don’t worry, you’ll be leaping tall buildings in a single bound soon enough!
For example, my daughter used to love a game on my phone called Hole.io.
The premise is that you as the player are this little hole in the ground that can move around a city and swallow things.
The more things you swallow, the bigger the hole gets.
In the beginning, you have to look for little lamp posts and fire hydrants, and then as you grow, you can swallow multiple buildings at a time!
As goofy as it may sound, that is exactly like self growth.
Don’t get hung up on trying to take too much in at one time before you’re ready; ingest what you can and then circle back around to bigger stuff later.
This method will have your 10th step feeling as easy as your first one did!
4. Mindset
I simply could not write a post about meeting goals with the change formula and not mention mindset.
You know that quote about life being 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it?
Well, it’s very true.
Think about the people you admire most.
How many of them have negative mindsets?
We’re inspired by kindness, patience, resilience, resourcefulness, open mindedness, gratitude, and joy.
When we tap into those attributes in ourselves, the whole universe starts working on our side!
There’s always an excellent reason we haven’t gotten the results we want.
It doesn’t have to be an excuse, though.
Keep your little curiosity vs judgment hat on and you will discover the most powerful parts of yourself.
You can change your experience.
You can transform your life.
And if you need some support or encouragement, send me a message!
Cheers to you and your future breakthrough!
