Oh, the holidays.
They are an exciting and thrilling time for some…
And a subject of absolute dread for others.
They can be a special time filled with connection, cheer, and joy…
Or they can represent a season of feeling pressured, uncomfortable, lonely, anxious, and a myriad of other painful experiences.
If you fall into the latter category, I want to give you some ideas on how to best navigate this season in your own unique way.
Set an intention
It can be so easy to get swept up into everyone else’s vision of what the holidays should be.
But what do you want to experience?
Maybe it’s laughter, giving, spending time with people you love the most, or freedom to explore new traditions.
By setting an intention, you can go into this season feeling empowered.
Keep your intention top of mind and notice what has historically fallen within that vision and what has been outside of it during this season.
This will provide clarity for our next step!
Make Boundaries Your Best Friend
The holiday season of 2020 was like no year before it.
Many of us spent it quite differently than we ever had before, and some of us found that the holidays are much, much more enjoyable without our Aunt Mildred asking when we’re finally going to settle down and get married or our Grandpa Jake losing his temper when the subject of politics comes up.
When deciding on boundaries, it’s super duper helpful to get a 360 degree picture of how it could go down rather than only how $hitty we’ll feel while saying “no” to something.
So, think about what you genuinely have to give this year and what you feel resistant to.
Then imagine yourself setting boundaries around the things you dread, focusing especially on how it will feel once it’s done.
Maybe it means never having to go caroling in the cold again, being able to avoid spending an entire evening with relatives who don’t accept you, or never having to make that damn green bean casserole again.
Grandma might be disappointed or your sister might protest, but it’s worth it to honor your “yes” and your “no” here because it puts you in the driver’s seat of your holiday experience.
The other option is to lean into powerlessness which leads to Resentment Road and takes you straight to Yucksville and Bummertown.
Break the Rules
Through the lens of your intention from earlier and the boundaries you plan on setting, what new practices do you want to implement?
Maybe you want to create a new tradition of going to as many Christmas parties as you can with a designated friend,
Or go sledding in three new and exciting places,
Or do a weekly drive to look at Christmas lights,
Or get inspired by some new holiday recipes and try your hand at baking.
Or maybe this year, you just need some time to yourself to regroup and to reflect on the year you had while watching your favorite holiday movies.
This is all about giving yourself permission to focus on the things that turn up your own personal Holly Jolly, so embrace the process.
And let this year be a season of empowerment above all else: you deserve it!
