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How to Stop Making Assumptions Part 1

How To’s designed to get you unstuck and pull you into alignment with your highest self.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me.”

It just goes to show a saying doesn’t have to be eloquent to be true!

Today we’re going to talk about the assumptions we make about ourselves and how to start challenging them so we can have a different experience.

How assumptions about self hold us back

For most of my life, I had terrible self esteem.

It started when I was just a tiny little kid who chronically felt unseen and unheard.

Because of that experience, I assumed I must not be worth very much.

Even well into adulthood, every time someone would treat me badly or leave me, it was “proof” of this!

With the assumption I was worth less than others, I was always steeling myself for the next blow.

I was sure I could see abandonment and rejection coming a mile away and I was perpetually braced for impact.

I lived and died by this truth that wasn’t a truth at all.

What I couldn’t see at the time was that because I had no self worth, two things happened on a regular basis:

  1. I attracted people who had no intention of treating those close to them well. They chose me because they could tell I was a people pleaser with low self esteem and virtually no ability to create boundaries.
  2. I was often the one to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble in a relationship (even with safe people!) because “everyone leaves me and nothing ever works out. So, what’s the point in trying to change it?”


This perfectly illustrates a point we’ve talked about before: our belief creates our experience, and our experience confirms our belief.

Limiting beliefs

Every single one of our assumptions about ourselves is actually a limiting belief.

When we operate out of that limiting belief, we hold ourselves back from greatness and we limit ourselves and our capacity for happiness, joy, and adventure.

To find out what’s been stopping you or holding you back from having a different experience of your life and yourself, take a closer look at what beliefs are underneath your actions.

As you create awareness around the assumptions you’ve made about yourself, these limiting beliefs will start to reveal themselves.

To speed up the process, you can journal and/or meditate about this concept and even ask others what you seem to believe about yourself.

Challenging your assumptions

Once you have a good understanding of what lies have been masquerading as truths in your life, you can begin to isolate and dismantle them.

To challenge your beliefs, ask yourself three questions.

  1. What’s the experience you’ve been having that you no longer wish to have?
  2. What experience would you rather have?
  3. What would you have to BELIEVE about yourself to have this new experience?


Now you have a new starting point!

For me, I had to challenge the idea that I was worthless.

This took time and constant awareness as my old habit of accepting crumbs from relationships and giving up on things as soon as they got a little dicey kept coming up again and again.

When this happened, I would ask myself, “how would I approach this situation if I genuinely believed I was just as worthy of love and happiness as anyone else on the planet?”

With this question in place, the actions I took began to change and not surprisingly, the experience I was having changed as well.

With those who genuinely loved me, my relationships deepened, becoming stronger and more resilient.

With those who had agreed with my limiting belief, saying with their actions “you’re right. You are pretty worthless,” the relationships quickly fell to the wayside and I was able to move on with peace in my heart.

My hope for you is that you begin to see which assumptions about yourself are limiting you and holding you back.

As you challenge them with a new belief in place, the universe will rally around you and show you just how amazing your life can be!

Takeaways:

  • We make assumptions about ourselves based on our experience and then we unconsciously act out the same pattern over and over again based on this limiting belief.
  • To have a different experience, we must challenge our beliefs and assumptions about ourselves by testing a new, more empowering belief.
  • With awareness and practice, we can be free of our assumptions about ourselves, allowing us to have the experience we desire and deserve.

Next week, we’ll dive into part two!

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