Do you ever have feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and hypervigilance for seemingly no reason?
You may be experiencing an “I am unsafe” core wound.
And depending on its severity, it may really be holding you back from happiness, fulfillment, and peace.
Is This the Right Core Wound for You to Reprogram?
Let’s see if a nagging feeling of being unsafe is affecting you.
People with a high “I am unsafe” core wound:
– Often feel afraid for no apparent reason
– Have a dysregulated nervous system that likes to hang out in fight or flight mode
– Are experts at worrying
– Have a tendency to isolate from others when stressed
– Can be controlling
– Have poor boundaries
– Regularly experience feelings of panic
– “Check” things often in an OCD way (“did I leave the oven on? Are the doors locked?” Etc.)
– Discuss and prepare for worst-case scenarios
Reprogramming “I am unsafe”
Now we’re just gonna follow the same process we discussed last week with “I”m not good enough” to bring you relief from the triggers of feeling unsafe.
We’ve found the core wound (step 1) and now it’s time to find its opposite (step 2).
You’ve got some options with this one depending on what triggers you into feeling unsafe.
If you tend to fear bodily harm, you’ll use “I was physically safe” as an opposite.
If you fear rejection/abandonment/disconnection from others, you’ll want to reprogram “I was emotionally safe.”
And if you experience both of those, you can pull from both categories as you look for evidence of safety.
Let’s try an example of each.
I was physically safe when:
- I slept in my bed last night
- I drove to work this morning
- I ate dinner at my table last night
- I watched my favorite TV show last night
- I went to the gym last week
I was emotionally safe when:
- I talked to my best friend on Saturday
- I shared my hesitation with my boss about that new project at work
- I told my partner I was feeling disconnected a few days ago
- I joked around with my coworker yesterday
- I shared my opinion about pineapple on pizza at that party two weeks ago
To reprogram the “I am unsafe” core wound, you’ll want to gather 10-15 pieces of evidence daily by writing, typing, or recording yourself as you list them.
Considerations:
Always use past tense (I WAS safe) versus present tense (I AM safe). You may never feel safe right now, which is why it’s important to look back and notice times you were safe whether you felt that way at the time or not.
Remember that you can draw from memories any time in your life, though it can be helpful to start with the last 24 hours since they’ll be fresh in your mind.
Stick with the reprogramming for at least 21 days to notice a dramatic decrease in “I am unsafe” triggers. By day 63, your brain will be actively looking for safety rather than un-safety.
That means with continued practice:
– You’ll feel calmer, happier, and more energized
– You won’t catch yourself worrying needlessly
– You’ll be more present with yourself and those around you
SCORE!
Believing in you always,