Whether we meet someone socially or professionally, the key to making a great first impression is to represent ourselves authentically and to create space for the other person to do the same.
If you’re prone to anxiety around first meetings and/or have a tendency to overthink about how the interaction went, I feel your pain!
So, let’s dive into a few tips to boost your skills and your confidence when talking with someone new.
Show your personality
Let’s start with the first part of this equation – representing yourself authentically.
When we first meet someone, we immediately start to tell them who we are, whether we want to or not.
We do this through our facial expressions, body language, and verbal responses.
Take a moment to think about what kind of personality you have – are you extroverted and bubbly? Stoic and intellectual?
It’s always the right call to represent yourself as you are so there are no surprises later on.
And while this leads to more people who won’t click with you right away, that actually saves you time in the long run since this approach ensures 1) those who are feeling your vibe are drawn to you and 2) the ones who don’t resonate with it can move on quickly.
So, no people pleasing here!
Now we’re going to incorporate some skills to encourage those around you to follow your lead.
Make eye contact
Eye contact can be a powerful tool to build trust and to help put others at ease.
Without much effort on your part, it shows you’re actively listening and engaged in the conversation.
Pro tip: If you subconsciously avoid eye contact, try to make a mental note of what color someone’s eyes are.
Over time, this will help train yourself to lock in with the people around you.
And once you’ve locked in, you’re golden!
Pay attention to your body language
Our body language subconsciously speaks to how we feel at any given moment.
So, pay attention to what your body is doing as you engage with those around you.
Keeping arms and legs uncrossed and standing/sitting up straight shows you’re confident as well as receptive to the interaction.
Practice active listening
Being a great listener is a surefire way to help those around you feel comfortable.
It also shows a great deal of respect.
And it’s more than just waiting for the other person to stop talking!
A real game changer in the listening department is to use supportive responses instead of shift responses after someone has finished a statement or story.
Shift responses: A shift response is when we listen and then respond by shifting the focus from the person who was speaking back to us.
For example, let’s say you meet someone at a party and they mention how they recently took a trip to a resort in Jamaica.
A shift response would be something like, “I went to Jamaica a few years ago and I loved it! I went in the middle of the winter and it was so nice to get away from all the snow for a week!”
Our intention with a response like this is to show we’re listening and to respond with enthusiasm and agreement.
But what we’ve really done is moved the spotlight from the other person to ourselves.
Although we mean well, it can come off a little self-serving and uninterested.
Support responses: A supportive response is one that shows attentive concern and understanding.
This kind of response employs reflective statements and open-ended questions.
You don’t even have to be particularly insightful to use this technique; it’s just about showing you’re interested in what the other person has to say and asking to know more.
Going back to that same example, a support response could be, “Jamaica is such a beautiful place! What did you like about it?”
This shows you were listening and that you want to further the conversation as well as keeping things open so you can share your thoughts once they’ve finished sharing theirs.
In closing
Try to remember the Great-First-Impression Equation: Taking up space + Creating space for others = Positive interaction you won’t have to ruminate on for two weeks.
Go forth, connect, and remember what a kick ass person you are!
