Last week, we talked about how hacking your habits means programming them all the way through the levels of behavior, beliefs, and identity.
This week, let’s find out 5 exact steps you can take to create the kind of transformation in your inner world (beliefs and identity) that will automatically change your outer world (habits and behavior).
1. Step back
Have you ever noticed that when it comes to our own struggles, they can seem super duper complex and nuanced,
BUT, when we look at problems others are experiencing, it can be relatively easy for us to see solutions to them?
That’s because our Totally Fabulous Conscious Mind comes online when we’re not identified with the situation, which enables us to see the big picture and ultimately, what needs to happen to shift it in a positive direction.
So, step back by asking first, “what is the positive intention my unwanted behavior is trying to meet for me?”
To illustrate this, let’s say Jennifer is trying to make a habit of meditating every day.
But instead of meditating, she finds herself mindlessly scrolling on social media, cleaning the bathroom, watching TV, organizing files on her computer, etc.
When Jennifer steps back and asks what the positive intention is of this avoidance behavior, she sees it’s trying to keep her safe and comforted. Great job, Jen!!!
2. Let go
To follow the next step, Jennifer now needs to ask herself, “what would I need to let go of in order to allow myself to meditate?”
When she takes this step, she finds she would need to let go of the belief that she’s terrible at meditating and trying it only makes her feel discouraged.
Note: You might have a list of several things you’d need to let go of here, and that’s okay! We’re just sticking with one for the sake of the example.
3. Visualize
Now it’s time for Jen to remove her subconscious resistance to meditating by imagining this new habit as she would like it to be.
This step is the most important since it actually moves the habit into alignment with who we are and makes it a part of how we see our life and our best self.
As she visualizes putting herself into this new habit and pictures what it would look like to make meditation an enjoyable process for her, she finds out some new truths that challenge the meaning she was initially making (I’m bad at meditating):
1) Showing up is enough, 2) This process doesn’t need to be rigid or perfect, 3) Anything worth doing is worth sucking at in the beginning, 4) I can do a guided meditation that will make me more confident, 5) It’s okay if I skip a day, etc.
What makes this such a powerful step is that it speaks directly to our subconscious minds (where habits are actually formed) by eliciting an empowered emotional response in the body.
4. Take empowered action
So now, Jen feels a lot more motivated and energized as she takes the next step and asks: “What is one action I feel empowered to take?”
In asking this, she finds out that although there’s still inner resistance to meditating every single day for an undetermined amount of time, she feels super confident she can show up and meditate for 5 minutes on both Tuesday and Thursday this week.
And because she’s followed the previous steps, she feels a sense of patience and freedom to make this habit work for her over time instead of trying to force herself into something she’s not ready for.
5. Set up accountability
Lastly, it’s absolutely imperative to set up accountability around this action.
Why? Well, according to a study done by the American Society of Training and Development, we are 95% more likely to reach our goals if we have a weekly appointment with someone who is going to keep us accountable.
This could be a friend, family member, or professional.
Whoever you choose, remember to embrace this last step with as much vigor and enthusiasm as you have the previous steps to complete this transformational process.
I believe in you!
