Of all the feats we accomplish in our lives, truly knowing ourselves is one of the most valuable.
Why?
When you know yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), it’s like being able to reference a manual on how to be the happiest, best version of yourself.
We all have that manual available to us; it just might need to be translated first!
Although being raised by caregivers who are attentive and who pay close attention to who we are while gently encouraging us toward our natural tendencies is a big help, a lot of us grew up differently.
Regardless of how well you know yourself now, there are ways to translate your personal manual into your own language so you can easily read and understand it.
Personal responsibility
Deep down, we know who we would like to be.
This is our North Star, if you will, and it can guide us toward happiness if we let it.
Sometimes though, we have a hard time moving forward as the best versions of ourselves if we resist looking at the obstacles in our way, particularly the areas we’re not showing up for ourselves as well as we THINK we are!
We can avoid taking too close a look at how we’re functioning in the world because we’re afraid of what we’ll find there.
A powerful step in getting to know yourself is taking responsibility for what you’re experiencing now by looking at the ways you’re allowing things to continue as they are.
This has nothing to do with blame which is disempowering and quite frankly, not at all useful in any circumstances.
This was difficult for me to accept at first since blaming others made me feel better on an egoic level for a very long time.
However, by taking personal responsibility, we put ourselves in a position to make changes.
So, notice where you are now and own it as yours without spreading fault or blame.
Drive It Like You Stole It
I’m a sucker for the movie Sing Street in which there’s a song called “Drive It Like You Stole It.”
The chorus goes like this:
“This is your life, you can go anywhere
You gotta grab the wheel and own it and drive it like you stole it.”
Before we drive it like we stole it, though, it helps to figure out where in the heck we are currently.
So, if you were an alien and we plopped you into this brain, this body, and these circumstances, what assets and challenges would you notice?
This is your starting point.
Take a step, any step
You’re the owner of this life and you’re in charge.
So, it’s up to you to decide which step to take first.
What obstacles are in your way?
Is there a skill you need to learn?
Are there tendencies you have that you’d like to exchange for new ones?
Do you need to get out of a crappy situation?
The key is examining things the way they are and then hypothesizing what might be better.
We just gotta start somewhere!
It’s all a bit of trial and error when it comes to learning yourself, and self awareness is a critical part of that.
Self awareness
When you do take that first step, whatever it is, notice what effect that has on you.
If it feels like it’s in alignment with the truest, most authentic version of yourself, you’re on the right track!
Robert Allen said, “There is no failure. Only feedback.”
This is important to remember while you test new actions and observe the reactions within yourself.
Life is an endless feedback loop if we’re interested, and we can learn everything we need to know about ourselves just by paying close enough attention.
This takes some tenacity and diligence, so it’s wise to find a way to track your progress.
Spend time thinking or journaling (or both!) about what you do differently and what it feels like after the fact so that when you move on, you’re able to do so from an educated state.
If it worked, GREAT!
If it didn’t, try anything else.
Takeaways:
- Paint a picture of who you would be if you could wave a magic wand and make it so.
- Remember that where you are today is just that. It’s where you are today! Nothing more.
- Let go of the resistance to looking at your life with an objective eye and peer inside.
- Decide what you’ll try first to get more into alignment with your best self.
- Notice what effect that has on you.
- Be kind to yourself!
Next week, we’re going to talk about how to discover your personal values so that you can get to know yourself even better!
