Our mindsets affect everything in our lives.
They tell us how to feel, how to think, and how to act.
So, making sure you’ve got a good one on your hands (or shoulders, rather) is paramount to creating a life experience you love.
In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck writes about two different types of mindsets – a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.
Most of us are primarily one or the other.
Fixed Mindset
Carol explains a fixed mindset this way:
“If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character— well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.
[…]
I’ve seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves— in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?”
That sounds like kind of a lousy existence, doesn’t it?
When we have a fixed mindset, we tend to:
- Believe skills and attributes remain unchanged
- Avoid challenges and risks
- Ignore/avoid feedback
- Feel threatened by the success and wins of others
- Hide our flaws to avoid judgment
People with fixed mindsets can remain stuck their entire lives.
What a drag!
Growth Mindset
Carol describes a growth mindset like this:
“There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens. In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.”
When we have a growth mindset, we are likely:
- Not afraid to start over
- Resilient
- Someone who sees failure as an opportunity to learn
- Open to constructive criticism
- Someone who embraces challenges
Adopting a growth mindset by taking steps toward it increases your ability to get yourself unstuck when the rubber meets the road.
When we’re unhappy with what we’re experiencing in any area of life, it behooves us greatly to pay attention to HOW we’re approaching those areas.
So, um, how do I start?
The core difference I notice about these two mindsets is how they interpret their circumstances.
In other words, they make different meanings about the things that happen to them.
When someone with a fixed mindset experiences failure, it means they’re not as talented or as good at something as they thought.
They experience a very negative view of themselves when confronted with their own limitations.
However, when someone with a growth mindset experiences failure, it just means they need to adjust and make another attempt.
This week, I want you to notice the meanings you make about what you experience.
For example, if you have an awkward encounter with a stranger, do you rush to thoughts like “I’m so bad at talking to people?”
If you forget to accomplish something on your to-do list, does it feel like it means you have a crap memory?
When you challenge the meanings you’re making by asking, “is this 100% true?”, you will start to change your mindset.
And when you change your mindset, you change your life.
